being in love

didnt care any less to update the blog. i feel so tired since sch started. maybe i'm mentally not ready yet. i feel that things are going too fast and i cant catch up. now i understand why ppl say poly is different. it does feel so different. i have to be independent. i'm responsible for my own doings. i didnt even do my tutorial hwk. my classmates did. that made me soo scared.

during POM lesson yest the class rep was praised saying that her answer was A+ material. i was like what the.... my english is soo bad. i'm scared that i cant score. i'm scared that i cant answer qns correctly. ya making mistakes is gd so u learn from it. but i jus have no confidence. i need to read n revise everyday after sch. but i cant. its not a habit i did in ite. its so difficult for me now. i so wish now that i didnt get to study in poly. ya stupid me i shld be thankful, i know. i'm jus so down n sad.

jus now i jus log on to vbus. i have a research to do already and have to be passed up by this friday. jeez. too fast. i'm planning to do it on thursday since there is no sch. but how to research. i dont know where to start. *shakes head*

i'm having such a hard time. my classmates all seem so smart. they answer qns so chim. its like they know everythg. i want to do my best too. but i have no confidence. so scared feel like crying. ppl ard me dont understand. yea u ppl give me advices, but u dont know how i feel inside. i feel so alone.

i wish u r here with me dongsaeng. u always motivate me and give me support when i'm down. we cld study together and do stuffs together. but now i have to be independent n i'm scared. yea i'm using the word scared so much. bcos i really am. can i cope for 3 years? can i tahan and do my best? i'm having doubts.

*crys*

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

poly life 10:49 AM

well i hated my poly orientation. too many cheers noise n ppl. i've made my mind not to like poly. going there to jus get a diploma

however things are going better. yest was the start of sch. followed my abang to his lecture. then meet up classmates at the library. classmates are ok. its jus that i feel they dont like me n i cant click easily. they are so enthu. so into class bonding. well its ok. sometimes i jus feel left out.

i'm missing ite so much. jus heard that dongsaeng is not going to grad day. now i'm not sure if i want to go or not. whats the use if she is not there. hmmmm.... i'm jus staying positive n saying to myself that things happen for a reason.

i didnt update my day with faizzah. we cabot orientation in friday. spent time wif her. tok non-stop. haha. n i thought i wld feel awkward ard her. then on sat ask her to accompany me go shopping. went to bugis. wahhhh all the clothes nice n cheap!! most of my clothes are 10 bucks. cool. had a great time with her. happy to keep in touch more often with her. ^^

to dongsaeng
dongsaeng ah, hyung is sooo sad wen ur not here to make me laugh. miss the way u disturb me. or calling me names. miss the days wen we crap ard. miss it wen u give me advice or motivation. i really hope to still see u. do update me on whats happening in ur life. u know that even if i have no time, i can still lend u my ears. BOGOSHIPUHYO!!!!

Friday, April 18, 2008

HATE IT 9:17 PM

NO UPDATES
HATE SCHOOL
MISS ITE SOOOO MUCH
FINE IF I'M A LONER
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

T-SHIRTS 10:22 AM

wahhh its has been such a long time i didnt update
nothing much to update actually

i've been accepted to TP. All forms are being sent already. Orientation is tmr!!! (too fast) I am soo not ready to go to school. I keep having mix feelings. Like am i ready, is this what i really want, will i have any friends, so much things are goin tru my mind!!! ahhhh!!!

I miss my ITE friends. Esp kuss. Miss the time when we crap around. Everythg lah!!! I am so not an independent person. Hate being alone. *shakes head* what am i to do???

Miss my abang too. It feels like i dont spent much time with him. Sch starting soon. Will i be busy?? Can i still meet him quite often? I wonder..

But among my sadness. I was abit happy yesterday. AT LAST I"VE RECEIVED MY BIG BANG T-SHIRTS!!! YEAH!!! However its too big for me!!! (even though the size is XS) But what the hell i dont care. I'm still wearing it. Maybe i'll wear it one day when i go to sch. hehehe SHOW THE WORLD ABT BIG BANG!!! hehehe

Today i might be going out wif my mum. Buying some clothes. Hmm.. I'll update when i have the mood to..

i miss u lots n lots!! ^^

(TOP T-shirt, its kinda plain but who cares ^^)

(BigBang is VIP, see how big the tshirt is hehehe)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

bullshit 9:40 AM

VIDEOS ARE MY PLAYMATE.
THEY MAKE ME HAPPY.
IF THERE ARE NO VIDEOS MAYBE I'LL BE DEAD BY NOW.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

updates 12:23 PM

been lazy to blog
changed my blogskin
love the skin, lollipop yumyum!!

lets see, where shld i start?? well i'm thankful to god that i got in to TP. I'm sad that my frens didnt get tru. I really really wonder why. I think they bias ah. Not fair. I have been slacking at hm, didnt go out. Stayed at hm and rot. But on saturday went out to JB to celebrate my success. Went with my family, we watched Evolusi: KL Drift. Fun show not much talking but car drifting. However on saturday thare was an outing to suntec for ygbb. They were showing clips from Big Bang THEREAL concert!!! ahhh i sooo wanted to go!!! -.- well at JB i bought new shoes. Didnt get the shoe that i wanted; feet too small the shoe cutting too big. Lastly settled for white shoes that cld fit me. Nothing much happen on sunday. Stayed at hm n jus watched tv.

On monday, my mom had start working. 8am-6pm. She had to cook early in the morning so i don't have to cook; she knows that i'm lazy hehe i love u mom =) so i jus cleaned the hse n wash the laundry. After that watch some videos on the comp while waiting for my dearest abang to msg me n meet him. We went to the library to return books n off we went to TM to LongJohnSilver to eat. You know the traffic light from the interchange to go to library there, there were 2 traffic police officer catching ppl who are jaywalking. hahaha mostly were teens. how unlucky!! I didnt want to eat but he bought me a meal already so i had to eat. However i was more thirsty than hungry. After that went to the arcade n watched some ppl dancing at the parapara machine. I still wonder how they dance. It amazed me everytime i watch. haha. Then went to NTUC bought girls stuff a drink. Saw hong wei in the lift. Wonder did he got into poly not. After all that is done we sat down outside TM there to talk n played hp games. I laughed so much that i coughed. We took some photos too. So many kinds of pose. hahaha. Oh ya!! My abang has cut his hair. Look more neater n good looking =)

For today, i'll be going out again later. updates will be tmr ^^

My New White Shoe

Photos taken on 7/4/2008

i tink i need to cut my hair; see so tebal n long hehehe ^^

love this pic ^^

"twist!!!"

abang so cute!!!

"omona!!!"

New haircut; side view

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Exams results 9:53 AM

WOOOHOOOOO!!!
yea yea yest results made me sooooo happy!!
Both A for accounting n auditing..
oh yea!!
cld maintain my gpa of 4
now waiting for results to go to poly..

went out wif kuss yest
had sooo much fun
long time nvr see her ^^
she seems to be smaller.. hehe i mean loss some weight
u go girl!!
haha
we went to plaza sing to watch movie but den change of plans
went to fareast to eat at Ramen Ten
yummy!!
i ate spicy lala ramen.. damn shiok!!
after that kuss sooo gatal want to watch movie
so went to lido n watch the ophanage
its was in spanish
nice story kinda stupid in the end
it was scary yet sad..
then we went back hm

n my stupid father was like u didnt get ur bursary right
so i need to pay for ur poly fees ah?
den i say of cos
n guess what he said no need to go sch ah
stop sch
WHAT THE HELL!!
made me angry
at first happy that i cld get a chance to poly n now this

n went i tell u abt it, u didnt even try to make me happy
asked so many qns
made me more angry
what do u expect me to do??
if i knew that was ur reaction i wldnt have told u

Music

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

her

My name is Nadirah but better known as Dirah. Some people also call me ChipChip or just Smallgirl. Currently 20. School. Lurves watching videos, crapping, reading.

him

His name is Hanafi but better known as Afi. Some people also call him Napi or just Fi. Currently 20. School. We've been together since.... forever. ^^

*Love Talks*